


double stufed solreo

by Elendraug



Series: NERD HAPPEN x4+ COMBOBOB [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Plug, Anal Sex, Banter, Begging, Bulge Sucking (Homestuck), Bulges and Nooks (Homestuck), Butt Plugs, Communication, Dirty Talk, Double Penetration, Edging, Enthusiastic Consent, Established Relationship, Feeding Kink, Gillplay, Horn Stimulation, Laughter During Sex, M/M, Multiple Orgasms, Nook Fingering (Homestuck), Oral Sex, Overstimulation, Polyamory, Praise Kink, Psionic Sex, Psionics, Purring Trolls (Homestuck), Sex Toys, Snacks & Snack Food, Spitroasting, Threesome - M/M/M, Troll Gills (Homestuck), Wet & Messy, Xeno
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-13
Updated: 2019-08-13
Packaged: 2020-08-14 05:10:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20186797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elendraug/pseuds/Elendraug
Summary: “Okay,” Eridan announces, leaning heavily against the back of the couch, still standing behind the furniture. “If you two are gonna fuck in front of me, then I’m gonna watch.”“Since I’m so magnanimous, and since you couldn’t catch a drift if a drone dropped you into a swiftly-moving current of slurry, let me spell this out for you.” Karkat lets out a short breath as Sollux sucks on his fingertips, then shoots Eridan a look. “You are invited.”Eridan shoots him a look right back, eyebrows raised, deadpan, with his arms draped over the upholstery. “It’s like you’re tryin’ to tell me somethin’, Kar.”





	double stufed solreo

**Author's Note:**

  * For [roundandtalented](https://archiveofourown.org/users/roundandtalented/gifts).

> caitlin I hope you enjoy this, I was so thrilled to get assigned erisolkat, hell yeah man
> 
> I wrote the first 3k of this to "michael" by franz ferdinand and the other 8k to "panini" by lil nas x so make of that what you will
> 
> thanks to my pals for beta reading/cheering me on, I appreciate you guys
> 
> **prompt:**   
_I ask for the same thing pretty much every event: Eridan and Karkat doublestuffing Sollux, and all three of them are hype about it. I just can't get enough of Sollux loving DP lmfao_
> 
> _Praise kink encouraged =u=_   
_Bonus Points for chubby Karkat._   
_Extra bonus points if you feel like adding in some feeding of sweets/pastries some how >o>_

“But that’s my glubbin’ _point_, Kar, is that you shouldn’t be eatin’ that carp!”

Karkat takes a donut hole out of the box, pops it into his mouth, and rebukes Eridan while chewing. “And I’m telling you that your argument is invalid on its most basic merits.”

“And I’m tellin’ _you_ that there’s no excuse for anybody using palm oil in snack food!”

Sollux nudges Karkat with his elbow and leans his head on his right shoulder, mindful of his horns. “Hook me up.”

“Yeah.” Karkat picks up another donut hole and waits for Sollux to open his mouth, then sets it against his teeth. “Eridan, what exactly is your problem with this?”

“Like I’ve been _sayin’_.” He rests his forearms on the back of the couch and leans over it, to Sollux’s right, and continues the argument with him as a captive audience. “It’s irresponsible and environmentally destructive. I thought you’d be more concerned with the state of the planet than this.”

“It’s got nothing to do with _this_ planet, jackass.” Karkat slides his right arm behind Sollux’s back and runs his fingertips down from his shoulder to his elbow. “This isn’t the result of deforestation. It’s thanks to massive hoards of shale grist from LOWAS.”

“Since when do you care about ‘land dweller issues’, anyway?” Sollux brings his knees up against Karkat’s thighs and sighs against his throat. Karkat feeds him another donut hole; Sollux pushes it all into his cheek so he can kiss Karkat’s fingertips before he pulls them away.

Eridan huffs. “It’s fuckin’ casteist of you to insinuate that just on account of me being a sea dweller that I’d only care about the ocean.”

“It’s less that,” Sollux says, licking his lips as he pauses, “and more that continuous drumbeat of disregard for all things terrestrial since we were all six sweeps old.”

Eridan flicks Sollux’s arm with his fingertip, just above where Karkat’s hand rests on him. “I’ll have you know I’m a changed guy, and I’m capable of carin’ simultaneously about multiple—”

“He’s been hanging out with Jade,” Karkat interrupts.

“Eheheh, that sounds believably Occam’s razored if you ask me.” Sollux reaches behind himself to briefly brush his fingers against his boxers.

“_No_, that’s not—” Eridan interrupts himself and narrows his eyes, evaluating the movement. “Was Sol wearin’ a plug this whole time?”

“Yeah.” Sollux tilts his head back to stare up at Eridan. “That’s why KK’s helping me go hands-free here.”

“Before you ask, he washed his hands.” Karkat takes the cue and takes another one for himself and a second one for Sollux. He squeezes him in a side-hug and lifts his left hand to offer it to him. “But also reserved the right to touch himself.”

“I don’t need anyone’s permission for that.” Sollux sinks his teeth into the snack and speaks with garbled words against it. “Can’t stop, won’t stop.”

“If you’re expectin’ me to reenact a scene out of one of Kar’s romcoms or animated features, you got another thing coming.” Eridan stares at his mutant fangs as Sollux completes the motion and actually eats the donut. “I’m not spider themed and I’m not sharin’ any candlelit pasta with you.”

“If you won’t, I will.” Karkat runs his right hand back up Sollux’s arm and steadies him as he curls close against Karkat's solid weight. He lifts his left hand to Sollux’s face and wipes some stray sugar glaze off the corner of his mouth with the pad of his thumb. “You like having two options, right? Your pick: I dangle off a building and kiss you upside-down, or we get serenaded in an alleyway by Earth Italians.”

Sollux grins at him before darting his forked tongue out to lick the sugar away from Karkat’s thumb. “I hope you made lotsa spaghetti.”

Eridan rolls his eyes. “Did Kar make you sit through the human barkbeast movie, too?”

“No, this one’s a sideways invocation of Grubtube’s finest.” Sollux crosses his thigh over Karkat’s and runs his right hand over his hip, seeking out his skin just above where the waistband of his pajama pants digs into him.

Karkat leans towards Sollux, to bring their faces closer together, but addresses Eridan. “Fun fact, dipshit: it’s based on a story called _Happy Dan, the Cynical Dog_. Did you know that?”

Eridan’s gaze stays locked to the two of them, and he swallows audibly. “I did not know that.”

“The joke is that it’s your name.” Sollux lowers his eyelids, then lets them close entirely when he shifts position enough to produce slight stimulation from the plug. “And that you’re cynical.”

Eridan scoffs. “Am not.”

Karkat runs his thumb over Sollux’s lower lip and catches a hint of his canines against his claw. When he replies, it’s again to Eridan, but spoken against Sollux’s mouth. “It’s an immutable fact we’re stating for the record.”

“For fuck’s sake, are you gonna make out or what?” Eridan taps a drumroll against the back of the couch. “What kind of introduction are you waitin’ for?”

Sollux kisses Karkat before Eridan’s completed the second sentence, and Karkat tastes the sweetness of the glaze sticking to both of them.

Sollux pulls back after a few seconds and grins against Karkat’s cheek. “I was waiting for one of you to accuse me of being a greedy cakeslut, but I guess I have to do everything myself here.” 

Karkat rolls his eyes, even if Eridan’s the only one who can see it, with Sollux’s proximity. “What is it specifically that you’re doing for yourself? _I’ve_ been waiting on _you_ prong and fucking nub.”

“Bring your prongs back here, then.”

He does so, and as soon as Karkat’s fingers are back against his lips, Sollux takes them lightly between his teeth and licks at the glaze that remains on his fingertips.

“Okay,” Eridan announces, leaning heavily against the back of the couch, still standing behind the furniture. “If you two are gonna fuck in front of me, then I’m gonna watch.”

“Since I’m so magnanimous, and since you couldn’t catch a drift if a drone dropped you into a swiftly-moving current of slurry, let me spell this out for you.” Karkat lets out a short breath as Sollux sucks on his fingertips, then shoots Eridan a look. “_You are invited._”

Eridan shoots him a look right back, eyebrows raised, deadpan, with his arms draped over the upholstery. “It’s like you’re tryin’ to tell me somethin’, Kar.”

“What I’m trying to tell you, you bulgebiting nooksucker, is that—just like we all have in the very recent past!—you’re explicitly allowed to join in the fucking proceedings.”

“And he does mean fucking,” Sollux adds, his breath ghosting over the evaporating traces of his faintly-gold saliva on Karkat’s fingers.

Eridan scowls at Karkat. “I can’t believe what I’m hearin’.”

Karkat glares at Eridan. “What now?”

Eridan’s attempts to keep a straight face abruptly fall through, and he cracks a smile at long last. “I would never _bite_ a bulge.”

“My lived experience says otherwise.” Sollux turns his head to the side, glancing to Eridan in the periphery of his vision.

“Watch it.” Eridan scoots over to resituate himself between them. “That was one time, and it was an accident.”

Karkat runs his hands down Sollux’s back and turns his head to look at Eridan, too. “I’m willing to bet a few caegars that _watch it_ is exactly what Sollux was telling you, regarding your fucking hideous razor teeth.”

“You’re one to fuckin’ talk.” Eridan sneers, his lip curling just enough to intentionally, infuriatingly show off the very same razor teeth. “You look in a mirror lately or have all of them shattered when you try?”

“Two things, guys.” Sollux holds up a single finger, and for once, it’s not the middle one. “First off, my teeth are objectively the worst here, no contest.”

“Yeah, sure. Fair enough.” Karkat keeps his right hand on Sollux’s back and slides his left down to grip Sollux’s thigh, more substantial in his grasp now than it had been prior to sweeps of continuous computer use. “What’s the second thing?”

“Secondly,” he says, waving a peace sign between them, “don’t make me auspisticize for you unless you want these quadrants to get blurry as hell.”

“Hey, Sol.” Eridan lifts his hand to grip Sollux’s middle finger. “Which one of us are you flushed for right now?”

Sollux stalls. “Uh.”

“Hey, Lux.” Karkat grins at the combined double stare he gets from his friends, and grasps Sollux’s index finger. “Which one of us are you pitch for right now?”

Sollux snorts but doesn’t pull his hand away. “Oh, fuck both of you.”

“Yeah, wasn’t that on the table?” Eridan leans in further to kiss Sollux’s cheek, next to his ear. “Probably’d be better on a platform.”

Karkat uses this opportunity to tilt towards Eridan and sigh against his fin until it’s fluttering. “Are you gonna help me get him on a platform?”

Sollux flexes his fingers and presses his fingertips against their palms. He kisses Eridan’s cheek, opposite Karkat, and grins against his skin. “Carry me [over the threshold](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iN0Chsyqw4s), Eri.”

“You’re perfectly capable of usin’ your own strut pods.” There’s no bite to the remark, and Eridan lets go of Sollux’s finger to instead stroke his fingertips along his cheek and tip his head back. “Thought you were doin’ all the work.”

Sollux’s horns brush against the back of the couch, and he’s still halfway in Karkat’s lap, still halfway holding Karkat’s hand, when Eridan leans over far enough to kiss him, upside-down, primarily at the corner of his mouth. It’s awkward, but Sollux returns it the best he can and threads his fingers together with Karkat’s for some added stability.

“That was romantic,” Karkat faux-gushes. “If you keep that up my anguish bladder will inevitably run out of dismay fluid.”

“Troll Tohbey Mguire won an award for that upside-down kissing, you know,” Sollux adds.

Eridan traces the tips of his claws along Sollux’s jawline. “You gonna shut yourself up about the spider movies or do I have to do it for you?”

Sollux purrs. “Depends. Got a strategy in mind?” 

“The strategy is Double Stufed Solreo.” Karkat squeezes Sollux’s hand and then lets go of it to return his touching to his thigh. “Which, if Dave was here to comment, he’d point out that that’s a _valid troll name_, whatever that means.”

“How glubbin’ courteous of you to save him the effort.” Eridan lifts his head enough to shake it dismissively, but within another few seconds he leans towards Karkat instead, and kisses the softness of his cheek, lingering with his lips just below Karkat’s lowered eyelashes. “You two have rubbed off on each other so copiously and messily at this point he may as well be here.”

“That was as pale as chalk grist,” Sollux says, still quietly purring, “which just so happens to be a key ingredient for alchemizing Double Stuf Oreos, along with the shale grist.”

“Thanks for dispensing that priceless nugget of knowledge.” Karkat runs his hand back towards Sollux’s ass, and finds the handle of the plug through the fabric of his boxers. He nudges it gently, then rubs his palm over Sollux’s thigh again. “Got any other factoids you just can’t keep to yourself?”

Sollux grins. “It feels weird if I have to fa—”

Karkat quickly reaches for an emergency donut hole and cuts off the statement before he can finish. Sollux holds it on his tongue and catches Karkat’s fingertips between his teeth for a moment, before it becomes too difficult to have food in his mouth without actually chewing it.

Eridan kisses one of Karkat’s horns from above, then sighs into his hair. “Kar, if you’re gonna have him choke on somethin’, it oughta be sexier than this.”

“There’s nothing sexier on this or any planet,” Sollux starts, mumbling with his mouth full, “than witnessing the Emperor of Junk Food partake of snacks.”

“That’s tantamount to treason, Captor.” Karkat leans his head back to allow Eridan easier access to his horns and hair. “What do you think, Ampora?”

“Flagrant disregard for Alternian hierarchy.” Eridan runs his fingers through Karkat’s hair and kisses his other horn, as his claws lightly move across Karkat’s scalp. “If I wasn’t so enlightened and if our entire society hadn’t been wiped out when we launched the game, I’d have a lot to say about it.”

“Somebody should give me a trident,” Sollux continues, licking sugar away from his teeth. “It’d make it easier to eat my [Cinnabon throne](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i5LcBdbH8bo) while I sit in it.”

“We’re way overdue to overthrow your imperial tyranny.” Karkat grabs an additional donut hole and raises his arm above his head, even though he can’t see Eridan’s face. “Want one?”

“Yeah, Eridan, are you willing to overlook your oh-so-strongly held convictions about shale grist to indulge yourself?”

Eridan flips Sollux off with one hand and takes the treat with his other and eats it regardless of (or possibly thanks to the clarification of) prior discussion. “Suck it, mudblood.”

Sollux flips Eridan off in return, smiling just short of laughing, giddy from the closeness of camaraderie and the mild sugar rush. “Waiting on you to bring it _ovver_ here, chum bucket.”

“You missed a prime opportunity to get in a _Harrey Potter_ joke at his expense.” Karkat kisses Sollux’s face and slides his hand around to slip between his legs. “Ten points from Hufflepuff.”

“I dunno.” Sollux ducks his forehead to Karkat’s shoulder and rocks against his touch. “Pretend I said something _lewwd_ about the giant squid.”

“You told me you were in Ravenclaw.” Eridan’s indignant, even through a mouthful of half-chewed donut hole. “What’s the truth, Sol?”

Karkat traces over Sollux’s sheath through his boxers. “Yeah. _Revveal_ your _sea-crets_.”

“Ask any hat and you’ll find that I’m flexible enough to fit both.” Sollux lets out a shaky breath against Karkat’s throat.

“With you it’s a Red Hat, right?” Eridan runs his fingers through the short hair at the nape of Sollux’s neck, and leans down to kiss each of his horn tips, one at a time. He finishes off with turning enough to kiss Karkat’s hair again; the two of them are conveniently close. “See? Made a programming reference just for you. Don’t say I never pay attention to the shit you Babel about.”

“Come on.” Karkat turns his head to lean his cheek against Sollux’s forehead, and keeps his fingers moving until they’ve stimulated Sollux sufficiently to coax his bulges out. “There you go.”

“Fuck,” Sollux sighs, eyes sliding shut as Karkat continues to stroke him through the fabric. He laughs, under his breath. “This got real real fast, KK.”

Eridan breathes in sharply through his teeth, but plays it off. “You’re a charmer, Kar. What are you gonna do, pail him in the living room?”

“No,” Karkat snaps, without missing a beat. “I’m gonna pail him in the _rumpusblock_, you aristocratic hunk of brine-encrusted excrement.”

“Either way works for me.” Sollux lifts himself onto his knees to straddle Karkat’s thick thighs and allow his hand freer movement between his own. “You really think this guy counts as a hunk?”

“If he keeps it up with the cape, he might count as The Count.” Karkat tests out the wetness that’s started soaking through Sollux’s clothing and presses back towards his nook until it’s damp against his fingertips. “Can’t say I’d blame you for backing the fuck away from me indefinitely for bringing up puppets during a burgeoning threesome.”

Sollux braces his hands on Karkat’s shoulders and grins at him. “It’ll take so much more than that to run me off.” 

“Y’know, thanks to the _von_, we can fairly accurately determine that Count von Count is either of noble ancestry or he’s named after the place he was hatched.” Eridan returns his hands to Karkat’s hair and rubs his thumbs at his hornbeds, in parallel. “Plus anyone with functionin’ fuckin’ vision can clearly see that he’s got violet blood under there.”

Sollux glances up at Eridan, even as he keeps his hips slowly rubbing himself against Karkat’s hand, and smiles a bit too softly for the feigned insult to read as authentic. “But does that qualify you as a _hunk_?” 

Eridan sneers again, but he can’t maintain it for long when Sollux’s expression is so obviously radiating admiration. “Whatever vernacular you wanna use.”

“I wanna use your bulge, is more like it.” Sollux looks away from Eridan and back to Karkat. His voice is calmer for the second, appended part of his sentence. “And yours.”

Karkat keeps one hand against Sollux’s crotch, as his bulges try to find his fingers through the fabric, and uses the other to stroke up along Sollux’s side, petting over his grubscars. “What’s stopping you?”

His purring ramps up, and he lowers his eyelids; the faint blue and red glow of his psionics illuminates the underside of his lashes and exhaustion-sunken skin over his orbital cavities, at the sharp rise of his cheekbones. Sollux runs the backs of his fingers along Karkat’s jaw, lightly over the gentle curvature. “Our pants, mostly.”

When Karkat snorts a short laugh, a brief exhale through his nostrils, it’s not nearly as harsh as might be expected in other circumstances. “Let’s not let something so obviously bullshit come between us.”

“Sol’s gonna come between _us_, isn’t he?” Eridan nips at Karkat’s ear with the utmost caution, then hovers his mouth just beside his earlobe, at his throat, his chin brushing against Sollux’s forearm as he’s still got it looped around Karkat’s shoulders. 

Karkat laughs again and shakes his head. “Dude, are you getting sugar on my neck?”

“Oh, so it’s fine if he does it?” Eridan licks at the spot, to clear away any potential perceptible stickiness. “That better?”

“Heads up, KK, you’ve got sea dweller saliva on you.” Sollux lifts his left arm and threads his fingers through Eridan’s bangs as they sweep back with his horns, following the violet wave over the crown of his head. “I found the culprit.”

“Well, you know what you do with culprits.” Karkat tugs at Sollux’s boxers, slipping his fingers into the waistband over the slight pudge that’s gathered at Sollux’s hips as he’s gotten older.

“Cull them?” Sollux supplies, fishing for the base of Eridan’s horn and wrapping his hand around it.

Eridan allows Sollux to lift his head and grins at him with another flash of vicious teeth that stopped posing a threat sweeps ago. “I’d love to see you try.”

“Cull him with kindness.” Karkat pulls Sollux’s boxers further down and smiles as his bulges seek contact in the open air. “Isn’t that a Beforanism?”

“You know how everybody in that session died in a huge explosion?” Sollux brings his mouth near Eridan’s, just shy of touching, his hand still holding onto his horn. “That’s how you’re gonna go. Bulge too bomb.”

“Bulge _two_ bomb, right?” When Eridan says it, they all know exactly what he means, and he takes Sollux’s lower lip between his teeth while Karkat takes his bulges into his hand and twines them with his fingers.

Sollux shudders, his knees going shaky, and Eridan’s there with his hands on his upper arms to steady him, even if it takes reaching over Karkat to do so. They make out in Karkat’s peripheral vision, and his attention is torn between the equally appealing options of watching them kiss each other or watching Sollux’s genetic material trace gold trails over his skin.

“Hey, take these off,” Karkat urges. He pats Sollux’s hip twice, distracted by the soft, wet sounds of the two of them kissing so close to his ear. In another place, another time, another group, it could be too intimate or even off-putting, but with no one else around to observe it, Karkat allows himself to enjoy wanting them and wanting to watch them. “Sollux, take these off.”

Sollux flicks his forked tongue against Eridan’s bottom lip before pulling back. “Yeah, it’s about time.”

As he stands up, Eridan’s hands fall from his shoulders and land draped over Karkat’s chest. Eridan takes the opportunity to hug Karkat from behind. He rests his chin on Karkat’s head, between his horns, and stares openly while Sollux undresses.

“Hey, what’d you mean by hands-free?” Eridan presses a kiss into Karkat’s hair and poses the question to Sollux. “What’s the point of telekinesis if you’re not gonna use it? It’s like Troll Chekhov’s crosshairs.”

“I wanted Karkat to feed them to me.” Sollux steps out of his boxers and leaves them discarded on the floor. “And now I want to sit on his bulge.”

Eridan shrugs, affectionate, still holding Karkat. “Fair enough.” He lets go of him and stands up, stretching his arms over his head from hunching over for too long.

Karkat lifts himself off the couch just enough to get his pajama pants pulled down away from his ass, and then shifts himself to lift his legs up instead. Sollux completes the motion on his behalf and tugs them completely off, and adds the pajamas to the two-garment pile they’ve begun. He keeps his gaze on Karkat’s face as he returns to him, as he runs his hands up along his legs and leans over him, his bangs mussed but not quite long enough to obscure his eyes.

When Sollux settles back into Karkat’s lap, the redistribution of their weight dips the couch cushion enough to warrant Karkat closing the lid of the box of the donut holes before they meet an untimely end.

Karkat rests his hands on Sollux’s hips, and reaches back to nudge the plug. Sollux lets out a slow sigh and curls his arms around Karkat’s shoulders again. His bulges twine around each other and against Karkat’s stomach; his nook is just slightly hotter to the touch than Karkat’s bulge as they touch together, and all it takes is lowering himself the final distance to press flush against him and allow Karkat to slide into the slickness of his nook.

“_Fuck_ yes.” Sollux kisses Karkat’s cheek and exhales next to his ear, rocking slowly over him, aware of Eridan’s attention on them both. “Fuck, you feel good.”

Karkat turns his head enough to kiss Sollux’s jaw. “So do you, dude.”

“Gettin’ him worked up, huh?” Eridan lets out his own exhale and takes his glasses off. He folds them carefully and sets them on a side table. “What about the couch?”

“You know how I used to carry chairs around?” Karkat leans his head back on the couch and brings Sollux with him, their chests pressed close, his hands stroking up along Sollux’s spine. “I have extras.”

“More like _you’re_ extra.” Eridan pulls his tank top off and over his head, pausing only when it gets momentarily twisted up with his horns. “Wastin’ all those natural resources on cheap furniture that won’t last half a sweep ‘cause you keep pailin’ on it.”

“It’s still just grist, you chute-sniffing cretin.” He rubs his thumbs over Sollux’s grubscars until his purring returns. “Whose tank top is that this time?”

“None of your business, is what.” Eridan tosses the shirt over both their heads, and it lands more or less in the accumulated pile of clothing. “Check out Vantas here makin’ my sexual proclivities out to be an insult, like it’s a bad thing to get some fuckin’ action on my own time.”

“Hey, man, I’m all in favor of you being—and I quote _you_ here—a ‘filthy glubbin’ bulgeslut’ whenever it strikes your waterlogged fancy.” 

Sollux looks up at him, his eyes glowing, his hips moving steadily. “You can sniff my chute, Eridan.”

“It’s occupied at the moment, isn’t it?” Eridan finally circles around the couch to join them at the front of the furniture. He runs his fingers through Sollux’s hair, up to his horns, then back down to rest his hands over Karkat’s, as Karkat’s rest on Sollux’s ribs. “I’ll have to get a taste of your _do not_ hole another time.”

Sollux laughs, and Karkat frowns.

Eridan squeezes Karkat’s hands and lifts his eyebrows at him. “Need I remind you that you’re the one who explicitly invited me?”

“This would be solid comedic timing to facepalm, if my palms weren’t coated in Sollux’s, uh...” He hesitates, then raises his eyebrows at Eridan. “Glaze?”

“Wouldn’t be the first time it’d been all over your face.” Sollux brings his right hand up to cup Karkat’s cheek, and kisses him slowly.

“Now that’s a scene that never fails to satisfy.” Eridan pushes his own pants down along with his underwear, steps out of both, and kicks them behind himself towards the rest. “Sol pourin’ some sugar on you.”

Karkat breaks the kiss to glare at Eridan. “If either of you makes a honey joke, I will dump you both in one beat of my pump biscuit.”

“Empty threats from you get me real wet.” Eridan steps closer until his shins are against the couch cushion, standing between Karkat’s spread legs with his left hand back on Sollux’s shoulder, and his right stroking the half-emerged length of his own bulge as it unsheathes. “There’s your undeniable proof.”

“Haven’t we already had this conversation?” Sollux rolls his hips and kisses Karkat’s jawline, aroused and short of breath. “As a sapiosexual, it’s the mind honey that’s erotic to me.”

Karkat pushes Sollux’s face away, regardless of the traces of genetic material. “Oh my fucking god, why do I even let you touch me?”

Sollux laughs harder, his bulges thrashing for attention between their sweat-slicked bodies as Karkat’s bulge winds within him, despite his alleged disgust.

“He can’t even answer for himself. There’s no justification for that kind of statement.” Eridan grasps one of Sollux’s horns with his left hand—the taller one on that side of his skull—and tilts his head back towards his stomach. Sollux’s hair brushes against Eridan’s abs, and Eridan’s bulge slides slickly over Sollux’s back. “With your insatiable thirst for knowledge, what would you ask of us ultra smart guys?”

“I’m attracted to smartasses, is what.” Sollux reaches up and behind himself to hold Eridan, backwards, and brush his fingertips lightly over his gills at his ribs. There’s slurry over his skin in multiple places, and the sensation is satisfying. “And I want to know if Karkat can feel the plug while he’s pailing me.”

“I realize that being a colossal disappointment to everyone who’s ever had the misfortune of meeting me is par for the course here—” Karkat begins.

“Promisin’ start,” Eridan interrupts.

“Fuck off.” Karkat reaches more easily between himself and Sollux, now that Sollux is leaning back against Eridan, and gets a handful of dripping gold and a view of Sollux’s eyes fluttering closed. “Like I was saying, at the risk of an anticlimactic climax, I can’t really feel it.”

“What a shame. I liked the idea in theory.” Sollux exhales slowly through his nose, and opens his eyes to look up at Eridan. “Speaking of ideas, you had suggestions for what to put in my mouth, didn’t you?”

“I can think of a few.” Eridan thrusts once, shallowly, against Sollux’s back. “Think you can last long enough for us to Double Stuf you if you’re suckin’ me down while Kar’s up in your nook?”

Sollux shivers; Eridan feels it in sparks that hit the slight webbing between his fingers as he holds onto Sollux’s horn, and Karkat feels it in a rush of slickness between Sollux’s nook lips and his own bone sheath. “Damn, Daniel,” he sighs, watching Karkat with half-lidded eyes, still playing his fingertips over Eridan’s gill slits. “I can try, can’t I?”

“Yeah.” Eridan pets Sollux’s hair, amused as the strands stick to his horns with the ambient static. “Give it a shot, Your Royal Junk Food Highness.”

“You know what time it is?” Karkat asks, rhetorically, enthralled by Sollux’s expression but trying to regain his focus. “It’s time to move to a platform already.”

“Consider this an intervention before you come too soon and ruin your appetite.” Eridan slides his arms underneath Sollux’s and hefts him up and off Karkat’s bulge. A slick mixture of red and yellow spills down Sollux’s inner thighs, and an equivalent amount stays pooled on Karkat’s skin.

Sollux catches himself with his psionics so he doesn’t lose his balance; as soon as his feet are back on the floor, he allows himself to become dead weight against Eridan. “Consider this another request for you to carry me.”

“Fuckin’ fine.” 

Eridan keeps one arm under Sollux’s armpit and moves to slip his other arm beneath the bend of his knees. There are additional buzzing waves of blue and red as Sollux resumes the psionics to help Eridan lift him. Once he’s looped his arms around Eridan’s neck, he allows the psychic assistance to dissipate.

Karkat stays seated, idly thumbing at the combined genetic material that’s streaked over his bulge. “You’re dripping.”

“Yeah, I am.” Sollux rests his head against Eridan’s; Eridan’s fin flicks against his face. “With anticipation.”

“I mean literally. You are creating literal nookstains on the floor.”

“You’re, uh.” Eridan directs his gaze to the disastrous team effort between Karkat’s legs. “I know what you already said about the couch, but you’ve got a situation yourself.”

Karkat shrugs, and parts his legs further so his junk is on full display. “Don’t care.” 

Eridan shifts his weight from one foot to the other and secures his hold on Sollux. His bulge twists against his thigh. “That another invitation, Kar?”

Sollux sticks his tongue out. “Get in line, KK.”

“Never thought I’d hear you say _in line_ instead of _online_.” Karkat pushes himself upright and looks to his side. “Am I bringing these?”

“That wasn’t a good joke, and yes.” Sollux nuzzles against Eridan’s cheek, brushing against his fin and the dark piecey wave of his hair. “Can you do me a favor?”

Eridan’s gills flare open at his throat for a brief moment, and he strokes his fingertips against Sollux’s knee. “Yeah, what is it?”

“Roll your eyes at him on my behalf.” Sollux kisses the corner of his mouth. “Thanks in advance.”

Eridan does so.

“Some _thankth_ it’ll be when he drops you from wasting all this time antagonizing me.” Karkat picks up the box containing what few donut holes remain, and stands up beside them. “Do we have any other urgent business to attend to before we recover whatever scraps of—” Karkat lifts his free hand to gesture air quotes. “—‘the mood’ are still salvageable after that exasperating interlude?”

Sollux offers him an insufferable grin. “_Hive Movies_ was known for its use of Squigglevision even though they switched to Flash in later seasons.”

Karkat raises his hand to rub two fingers over Sollux’s nook as Eridan holds him at a convenient angle for it, sliding the diluted red around over his gold-soaked folds. “I’ll squiggle your vision.”

“By all means. Please do this.” Sollux flexes his toes and tries to push towards Karkat’s touch, even as Karkat pulls his hand away.

“Okay, but seriously, let’s fuck already.” Eridan glances between them. “I’m strong and capable and one hell of a sea dwelling specimen and all, but this is taking too long.” 

“When have you ever known any of us to have our lives together?” Karkat asks. “And don’t answer that. The answer is obviously never. Not in a single timeline.”

“I’m answerin’ anyway, on account of we are having our lives together, right now, with each other.” Eridan gives Karkat a look, and leans his head against Sollux’s. “So if that’s sappy enough for you, let’s pail each other’s thinkpans out.”

Karkat pauses mid-retort, reconsiders, then smiles warmly at them. “Yeah.”

“Sapiosexual,” Sollux says. “The hottest brains since LOBAF.”

“Sappy-osexual.” Eridan leads the way to Sollux’s respiteblock, and squeezes his arm around Sollux’s shoulders as he holds him. “Like some big melodramatic moment in a romcom.”

Karkat follows behind them, and Eridan listens for his footfalls until it no longer becomes necessary to listen to any sounds but speech.

“Wherein a goldblooded programmer avoids certain doom despite his classpect; he similarly escapes a fate shoved into a helmscolumn; (despite occasional detours into simulated helmsman kink vis-à-vis blueblooded fetish machinery); his two charming and handsome sometimes-matesprits, sometimes-kismesisses spoil him as rotten as a bloated behemoth sphincter; occasionally this quadrant-vacillating romantic tension specifically involves the protagonist’s sphincter being spoiled; (and occasionally involves the aforementioned blueblooded fetish machinery); a box of donut holes is consumed; a multitude of questionably humorous puns and pop culture references are invoked; three to four on-screen orgasms are enjoyed by those gathered; our heroes strengthen their concupiscent bond regardless of whether it trends pitch or flush—”

Eridan whirls on his heel, with Sollux still in his arms, to stop Karkat in his tracks. “And the dashing aquatic lead beseeches that the ending to this finely spun tale not get fuckin’ spoiled before we get to the fuckin’.” 

“—and it’s unsuitable for wigglers.” 

Sollux shifts his weight and secures his hold on Eridan’s shoulders. “Is it on Netflix?”

Karkat raises himself onto his toes and leans over Sollux’s thorax to kiss Eridan. 

“Seems like this one’s live theater, am I right?” Sollux ends his speculation by shoving his mouth towards their faces and kissing somewhere near their lips. The exaggerated smooching noise he makes breaks them apart, laughing. “I could be up for improv.”

“With you it’d be... what, like.” Karkat sets the box of the remaining donut holes on the daystand. He grabs a bottle of room-temperature soda off it, unscrews the cap, and drinks from it despite it being flat. He recaps the bottle, and names the letters as he speaks. “RNG... something? To determine your acting choices.”

Eridan bends down slightly, and lowers his arm that’s supporting Sollux’s knees until Sollux rights himself with a brief pulse of his psionics. 

“Lisp has a built-in generator.” Sollux is back against Eridan’s side once he’s back on his feet, and he curls his arm around his waist, as if a tight grip in some other circumstance could prototype them together. “It’s not especially secure, but if all you’re doing is picking scenes from a hat, it’d do the trick.”

“On that very hot topic,” Eridan begins, as he runs his hand down Sollux’s spine to prod against the handle of the plug, “what’d you have in mind for _this_ scene?”

“We could pick up where we left off.” Sollux steps in front of him and rests his hands on the small of Eridan’s back, drawing him close to allow their bulges to entwine. Between Eridan’s attention at his ass and the slick squeezing of their bulges, Sollux allows himself to close his eyes and breathe for an indulgent moment before continuing to verbalize the thought. “KK fucking my nook, and me sucking your bulge.”

Karkat sets the soda down, sits on the bed, and watches them grope each other. “Decided against the Solreo Twist?”

Sollux looks at him over his shoulder. “What?”

“A Solreo twist.” Eridan picks up Karkat’s joke and runs with it. “Because we’re gonna take you apart.”

Sollux ducks his head against Eridan’s shoulder and laughs. “Got it, yeah.” Warmth catches him in a heady rush as Eridan’s bulge nears his nook and teases between his folds. “Yeah, I’m still game for that afterward.”

“Let the bulge-slutting begin, then.” Eridan kisses Sollux’s temple, over his hair, and jostles the end of the plug again. “Kar, you wanna do the honors?”

“What sound effect am I doing, exactly?” Karkat offers a golf clap, then mimics a trumpet and a gong, in succession. He throws his hands into the air. “And they’re off!”

Sollux reaches down between them to disentangle their bulges and reluctantly to guide Eridan’s away from his nook. He takes Eridan’s hand—without any rings, for once—into his own and walks backwards towards the bed. “Come here, then.”

“That’s the plan.” Eridan allows himself to be led and lies down beside Sollux. Curling up with him feels as natural as breathing, or swimming, or overthinking real-time strategy campaigns. “You good?”

“Yeah.” Sollux brushes Eridan’s hair away from his face and kisses him quickly. “You?”

Eridan chases after the kiss and lets it linger, lets himself relax into it before nodding. “Yeah.” He opens his eyes, and his nictitating membranes take another fraction of a second before they too retract as he blinks to get his bearings. “Kar?”

Karkat spoons Sollux from behind and strokes down along his side, over his grubscars, then down and around to take his bulges into his hand. “Yeah, I’m good.”

“Ah, fuck.” Sollux puts his hand over Karkat’s, holding it gently in place as he pushes his hips forward, against both Karkat’s hand and Eridan’s active and slickened bulge. He laughs, breathless, and rubs backward towards Karkat’s bulge. “You might have noticed, but I’m _really_ turned on, you guys.”

“We’re here to fuck you really good.” Eridan presses his thumb into one of Sollux’s grubscars and rubs at the spot.

Karkat kisses the nape of Sollux’s neck, into his hair where it’s buzzed short. “Well.”

Eridan bats lightly at Karkat’s arm where it drapes over Sollux’s waist. “Shut the fuck up.”

Sollux, surrounded by stimulation, can hardly decide which of them to touch first. “I think it could work either way.”

“Figures _you’d_ say that.” Eridan pulls back and sits up, spreading his thighs wide apart so Sollux can settle between them. “How about you work your way towards sucking me off?”

Sollux rolls onto his stomach and props himself up on his elbows, presses a kiss to Eridan’s thigh prior to resting his cheek against it. His breath is hot against Eridan’s violetblooded body temperature, as his bulge curls close to his lips. “I have a request.”

Eridan tucks a longer piece of Sollux’s hair behind his ear. “Anythin’ you want.”

“Don’t let me come until you’re both fucking me.” Sollux lifts himself with his knees so he’s face down, ass up, waiting for Karkat to take his previous place. “You know how I am.”

“That you’ve got no fuckin’ willpower for this?” Eridan brushes his thumb over Sollux’s cheekbone. “All right, we’ve got you covered.”

“Not yet, we don’t.” Karkat splays his hands flat on Sollux’s lower back, then spreads his ass cheeks with his thumbs. The stainless steel plug is appealing as its handle juts out. Karkat moves it gently in small motions and watches how Sollux’s muscles tense, relax, and react. “But we will.”

Sollux requires no further prompting, and he parts his lips and lowers his head until Eridan’s bulge slips into his mouth. It’s slick against his tongue, relatively cool to his touch, and Sollux’s purring stirs up again, deep in his chest.

“Fuck, Sol, you’re so good.” Eridan watches the violet length of himself slide further into Sollux’s mouth, and feels heat pool at the back of his neck when Sollux starts applying suction. “Kar, give him what he wants.”

Karkat glides his fingers over and between Sollux’s nook lips, spreading his wetness around and rubbing forward and beneath him to tease at the spot just below his bulges, which coil against each other just above the sheets, for lack of anything else to touch. Sollux is responsive and ruts against his hand, and Karkat has no desire to keep him waiting; he returns his grip to his hips and pushes himself flush to Sollux until his bulge finds its way inside him again.

Sollux moans around Eridan’s bulge and thrusts backward against Karkat’s. The solid weight of the steel in his ass contrasts with the smooth, squishy give of Karkat’s bulge in his nook, and Sollux chirrs out his pleasure as a rush of genetic material leaks from his nook and drips down his writhing bulges.

“He’s done for,” Karkat says, with his hand sliding down Sollux’s thigh.

“He’s as done as an overcooked grubsteak.” Eridan’s fins flutter and his nook clenches around nothing as Sollux sucks him down. “Use your tongue. I wanna feel that fork going to town.”

Sollux digs his fingertips into Eridan’s hips, lets the weight of his head rest on his thigh, and whines around Eridan’s bulge while he laps at the underside of it. His knees are shaky, even with Karkat stabilizing him throughout the slow roll of his thrusting, and his breathing is elevated, all air in through his nostrils as his throat takes the slippery length deeper.

Eridan leans back to brace his weight on his left hand, to grant Sollux room to move his head without fear of sticking his stomach with his horns. He pets Sollux’s hair with his right hand and stares openly as heat creeps up past his gills to the nape of his neck, as Karkat’s stomach and thighs slap against Sollux’s ass, how the gradually increased pace rocks Sollux’s mouth every few seconds.

“God, you’re good. Oh _fuck_, Sol, you’re so fuckin’ good.” Eridan gets another grip on his horn but allows his hand to move loosely over it, never restricting the rhythmic motions of his neck. “You’re gonna be good for us, aren’t you?”

Sollux nods, his purring audible over the slick sounds of their bodies moving together. He keeps his eyes closed, his lashes lowered against his gold-flushed cheeks, and relaxes his jaw to allow his saliva and Eridan’s slurry to keep his bulge sliding smoothly over his lips and tongue. Karkat’s efforts keep him fucked full at his entrance, his nook spread wide to accommodate him, his hamstrings taut as Karkat’s hands hold his hips in place.

“Yeah, like that. Suck me off while he fucks your nook.” Eridan swallows, and his gills flare again, at his throat and at his ribs, briefly mistaking sweat for saltwater. “Good boy, Sol. You’re doing so good—uh, so _well_.” 

Eridan flicks his gaze up to Karkat and smiles at the look on his face, the focus on their mutual flush-crush as he does his best between them. Karkat’s hair is stuck to his forehead with sweat, and if he wasn’t out of reach, Eridan would comb it away with his fingers. There’s a welling tightness in his chest, and he attributes it to his vascular system. “You’re a good boy too, Kar.” 

“What?” Karkat abruptly stops, quizzical, thrown by this. “I absolutely am not. I’m a bad boy.”

Eridan bursts out laughing, and after a filthy wet sound of his mouth releasing its enthusiastic suction on plenty of bulge, Sollux’s laughter is interspersed with attempts to catch his breath.

Eridan rubs at his face, unable to stop himself from smiling until his cheeks hurt. “Oh my fuckin’ _cod_, I _can’t._”

“I _absolutely_ am losing my shit,” Sollux gasps, still snickering against Eridan’s thigh.

Karkat smacks his ass, but not terribly hard. “Not with that plug in, you’re not.”

With that, Sollux is irretrievably lost, and continues laughing throughout some combination of residual purring and his efforts to normalize his breathing. His back shakes with it, and Eridan’s chest feels tight again as he strokes his fingers through Sollux’s hair and down towards his shoulders, over the faint violet streaks his bulge left between his shoulder blades earlier.

There’s unexpected wetness on his thigh, and Eridan grins. “Kar, the very notion that you could ever come anywhere fuckin’ close to qualifying as a _bad boy_ literally made him cry laughing.”

“I’d say I’m sorry,” Sollux manages, coming down from the throes of it, “but I’m not sorry for anything.”

“Oh, fuck you.” Karkat runs his clawtips delicately along Sollux’s spine, then wipes away the sweat at the small of his back. “It’s not _that_ funny.”

“Thank you, Karkat.” Sollux turns his head away from Eridan’s lap to glance back at Karkat over his shoulder, as much as the angle will allow. “Thank you for this fucking _gift_ in my miserable life.”

Eridan brushes Sollux’s bangs back and uses a knuckle to clear away the tears in the corners of Sollux’s eyes. “You’re fuckin’ adorable.”

Karkat rolls his eyes and pulls out. “Yeah, it’s so adorable how he thinks I’ll still fuck him if he insults me during sex.”

Sollux snorts, rolls onto his side, and looks up at Karkat, beaming. “Won’t you, though?”

Karkat lowers himself back to the bed and rests his hands on either side of Sollux, next to Eridan’s shins, his chest against Sollux’s upper arm. He kisses him over his jacked up teeth, right on the _lisp_, all of his fangs still safely in his mouth in a situation that never knew permanent meteoric consequences from stairways.

Sollux winds his arms up and around Karkat’s shoulders, and kisses him back as he’s pressed between the two of them, well aware of Karkat’s bulge sliding wetly over his leg and Eridan’s curling around itself just beside his head.

Karkat lifts himself up in time to watch Eridan’s bulge wind around one of Sollux’s horns. “Yeah, of course I will. Insulting me is the way to my withered and callous pump biscuit.”

“Withered.” Eridan emphasizes his accent more than usual. “_Shore._”

“I don’t remember asking for your opinion about my organs.” Karkat turns his head and kisses a slick section of Eridan’s bulge, where Sollux’s horn has inadvertently held it still enough to manage this. He sits up and smiles at both of them. “You guys ready for us to make this happen?”

“I dunno.” Sollux lifts his hand to reach back and touch Eridan’s bulge, although whether it’s to remove it from his horn or simply stimulate it is not immediately clear. “You ready to fuck my ass, _fuckass_?”

Karkat groans far louder than is called for and gives Sollux the stink-eye. “I said that like, _once_.”

“It made one hell of an impression on Jade.” Eridan shrugs. “Once was enough for it to stick, seems like.”

Sollux plays with the tip of Eridan’s bulge, rolling it gently between his fingertips. “You should stick it to me.”

“You ready to part ways with the plug?” Eridan asks, watching as his bulge leaves a glistening layer of violet over the warmer sunset hues of Sollux’s horn.

“Yeah. KK’s bulge is practically a plug, isn’t it?” He rushes to qualify the statement before Karkat can interject. “Which is a great thing that I enjoy about our sexual encounters.”

“What a flatterer.” Karkat rolls over on the bed to pull open the top drawer of Sollux’s daystand and peruse its contents. “Which lube do you want?”

“That gel one, with the pump.” Sollux keeps his fingers working over Eridan’s bulge, and moves his free hand down between his own legs to rub at the junction of his bulges, where they meet his sheath. He relaxes against Eridan’s lap and sighs, content. “Hey, thanks for indulging me all the time.”

“I should be thanking _you_.” Eridan combs his fingers through his hair, happy to shower him with affection. “Your tongue is so fuckin’ good.”

“Mm.” Sollux continues to touch himself as he unwinds Eridan’s bulge from his horn and guides it back towards his mouth. “I like tasting you.”

“And you managed not to bite me,” Eridan jokes, flustered as Sollux arches his back and turns his head to allow Eridan’s bulge to seek the wet heat of his tongue and tangle with it like it was another bulge.

“Next stop for the Battleship Sol-Attention requires you bringing your ass over here.” Karkat spreads out on the bed a hand towel he retrieved from the drawer, and sets the bottle of lube and a handful of clean tissues on it.

Sollux pulls his mouth off Eridan’s bulge and rolls onto his back between Eridan’s legs, then parts his thighs so Karkat can reach the plug. “Go slow, okay?”

Karkat nods, and pets the underside of his thigh in a soothing motion as he reaches with his other hand to grip the small oval of the plug’s handle. He tugs at it gently while Eridan resumes running his clawtips through Sollux’s hair and over his scalp, around his hornbeds.

The plug slips out with a grunt from Sollux. Karkat sets it on one of the tissues and uses another one to clear away the stray lubricant on Sollux’s ass.

Sollux’s eyebrows knit in self-conscious worry. “Am I... uh, is it—”

“You’re fine,” Karkat assures him. He pumps a substantial glob of lubricant onto his fingertip, and quickly moves it to Sollux’s asshole before gravity slides it off. “How’d you want this to go?”

“I was thinking if Eridan lies back and I get on top of him, he can fuck my nook while you fuck my ass.” Sollux keeps touching himself, in part to keep his bulges from wandering downward and getting in Karkat’s way. “If that works for you.”

“I love watching you ride me,” Eridan sighs, scratching lightly over Sollux’s jaw, and down to repeat the touch underneath his chin. “You’re so fuckin’ hot when you get into it and let go.”

“Yeah?” Sollux looks up at him for a split second, then closes his eyes and laughs under his breath. “Thanks.”

“As much as Eridan is frequently wrong on all possible topics, I have to concur on this one.” Karkat slides his thick finger into Sollux’s ass and watches his stomach muscles tense as he moves it slowly inside him. “There’s hardly anything I enjoy as much in life as complaining, but all bullshit aside, what we’ve got going on is a good thing.”

Sollux’s bulges coil tightly around his own wrist as Karkat fingers him. He smiles and keeps his eyes closed. “I too love complaining, but not as much as you two.”

Eridan brushes Sollux’s hair back and away from his face, even though it doesn’t stay the way he’s moved it. “As much as we love complaining, or as much as you love us?”

“He’s gonna say ‘both’.” Karkat pulls his finger partially out, pumps more lube onto it, and works it back in. “This is an elaborate coy setup for us to wonder what it is he really is trying to say, but it’s both.”

Sollux moans in response, lips parted, hips moving to meet Karkat’s hand. 

Eridan strokes his knuckles over Sollux’s cheek. “See, he won’t answer. I think you’re onto something, Kar.”

Karkat curls his fingertip very gently, and keeps it moving within Sollux until he’s stroking himself faster and bracing his heels on the mattress, his toes curling with far more force than Karkat’s finger.

“Please,” Sollux begs, the glow of his psionics giving away that he’s opening his eyes. “Please fuck me.” 

“You sound pretty sure about this.” Karkat keeps his finger inside Sollux, and uses his free hand to pet and support his thigh, where it’s tensing from the effort of keeping his legs spread. “What do you think, Eridan?”

“I for one am convinced as hell.” Eridan runs his hands further down, skating over Sollux’s chest and then down his sides to brush his thumbs over his grubscars until Sollux is squirming. “Let’s fuck him.”

Karkat nods sagely, as if Eridan has dispensed some kind of wisdom; in a way, he has. “Seems reasonable.”

“C’mere,” Eridan soothes, his hands back in his hair, smiling upside-down at Sollux once again. “Get on top of me like you said.”

Karkat pats Sollux’s thigh, then pulls his finger out and wipes it on another tissue. He pumps lubricant onto the base of his bulge and spreads it over himself. Once he sets the bottle back down, he offers Sollux his relatively clean hand.

Sollux takes it and hoists himself up, smiling at Karkat before turning around to reposition himself. There’s violet soaked into the sheets where Eridan was sitting, and the rest of it drips from the source as Sollux gets a welcome eyeful of Eridan’s undulating bulge and the inviting slickness of his nook as he lies back on the bed.

“What was it I said I wanted?” Sollux asks as he climbs over Eridan, straddling him, then reaching forward to tug at a pillow until it’s situated more comfortably beneath Eridan’s head. “Your nook looks way fuckable right now.”

“We got all the time in this world and several others for you to personally double stuff me.” Eridan wraps his arms around Sollux and runs his claws lightly over his back. “Unless you really wanna switch it out.”

“Sollux is the very embodiment of switching,” Karkat adds. “It’s also easy to flip him.”

“What’s that joke, tying a slice of buttered, toasted grubloaf to a cat and creating a perpetual motion machine?” Eridan grins up at Sollux. “That’s you when you have to decide if you want to take it or give it. You’ll never land on one or the other.”

“I landed on you, didn’t I?” Sollux lowers his weight onto Eridan’s hips and rubs his nook over the thicker base of Eridan’s bulge. It’s an understatement to say that the wet sounds, along with Eridan’s sudden intake of breath, are appealing and a turn-on. “And I’m cool with that being in perpetuity.”

Eridan raises his arms to drape over Sollux’s shoulders and neck, drawing him down. “Fuck you so much for making that genuinely _flippin’_ romantic.”

“That’s what I’m here for.” Sollux kisses him while he moves his hips further up along his bulge, until he coaxes the tip of it inside his nook. “To fuck you so much.”

Eridan takes in the sight of him, of his messy bangs over his eyebrows, of the familiar glow uplighting his eyelashes, of the gold in his flushed skin that completes the set of primary colors staring back at him. He cups the back of Sollux’s head and kisses him again as he thrusts upward, his bulge seating itself completely within his slick heat as he catches Sollux’s trilling on his tongue.

“Here you go with the ass fucking, _fuckass_.” Karkat kneels behind Sollux and takes a minute to figure out the best angle of approach; Eridan spreads his legs out to accommodate Karkat’s knees, and Sollux continues kissing Eridan, his chest pressed flat against his, waiting for Karkat to make another move.

It’s easy to push into Sollux, after hours of wearing the plug and the recent reapplication of lube, and he’s sheath-deep within an instant of pressing forward, so quickly that it almost catches Karkat off guard.

Sollux breaks the kiss to verbalize his response, in a throaty “Oh my _god_, Karkat!” spoken against Eridan’s fluttering fin. 

“Holy fuck, you’re tight.” Karkat holds onto Sollux’s hips and lets out a deep sigh. The position is somewhat unwieldy and could become difficult to maintain over time, but with the way that Eridan’s bulge is spreading Sollux’s nook lips so wide as it writhes within him, and the inelegant jerking of Sollux’s hips as he grinds himself down against Eridan’s stomach and then back against both bulges, it’s immediately obvious that they won’t need to last long.

Sollux’s purring kicks in again, rattling his ribcage, and he hides his face against Eridan’s throat, exhales onto his gills in uneven breaths, with sparks arcing between his horns and lifting Eridan’s hair with static electricity. “Fuck me,” he gasps, aching for it. “Oh my god, _please_, fuck me.”

Eridan lifts his hips with as much coordination as he can, when Karkat and Sollux are moving any which way. He strokes the back of Sollux’s head and feels the faint buzzing of electricity over his hands, vibrating in the webbing like a tympanic membrane. “How’s it feel to get fucked full of bulge, Sol?”

“Fuck, yeah.” Sollux’s bulges twist where they’re trapped between his own stomach and Eridan’s, spreading gold genetic material all over their skin and intermingling with sweat. He lets his eyes fall closed, focused on his breathing, on the trio of sensations from his bulges, and Karkat’s, and Eridan’s, all of it lighting up his nerves like completing a circuit. “Oh fuck, _fuck_ me!”

Eridan kisses his cheek and squeezes him in a tight hug. “Didn’t really answer the question, but I’ll allow it.” 

“Please, please don’t stop.” Sollux digs his claws into the sheets and jerks his hips back, his nook soaking wet with violet and gold, his ass slippery with lube against Karkat’s stomach. “Don’t stop, don’t stop.”

Karkat digs his fingertips into Sollux’s hips and pulls him back as he thrusts forward. Sweat drips along his spine, and Karkat follows the line of it with a smooth movement of his palm across his skin. “Good boy, Sollux.”

His breathing becomes ragged, his eyes shut as he sinks entirely into the physicality of Karkat’s bulge between his asscheeks and Eridan’s twisting within him until its tip teases his seedflap. He inhales the scent of Eridan’s hair, of their combined sweat, and exhales pleading praise against Eridan’s gills. “You’re so good, you feel so good, I just—” Sollux interrupts himself to trill again, louder, as genetic material starts to flow more freely from his nook and along the lengths of his bulges. “I want to come, I just want to come.”

“You’re takin’ it so good.” Eridan takes Sollux’s earlobe between his teeth and holds him close as he thrusts into him, feeling his own slurry seep out with his heightened arousal. “We want you to come, Sol.”

“Do it.” Karkat gets a handful of Sollux’s ass and shakes it in his grip, then brings his hand forward to thumb over his grubscars. “Spill for us.”

Sollux’s claws pierce the sheets, and the sounds that pour from his throat are as stuttered as the jerking of his hips. Everything in him tenses and thrums, and he chitters his way through the rush of release. He’s full, fucked so thoroughly by the bulges he’s clenching around that have warmed to his own body temperature, with two sets of hands steadying and supporting him as orgasm courses through his gut and settles into a pulsing heat at the back of his neck and between his sticky thighs. Red and blue light sparks over his skin and lifts his hair away from his face.

“Okay, that did it for me,” Karkat murmurs, hurriedly. “I’m gonna move your ass for you.”

Sollux moans, inarticulate, and lets himself go utterly boneless against Eridan’s chest as Karkat holds onto his hips and fucks into him. Karkat is quiet when he comes, save for the hurried exhalations out his nose that accompany the frantic rise and fall of his chest. Richly saturated red genetic material slides down the backs of Sollux’s legs and between Karkat’s own, and he’s courteous enough to keep himself inside him for half a minute as they both cling to the gratification of afterglow. 

When Karkat does pull out, there’s even more of a mess that coats their skin, and Sollux sighs with utter satisfaction as slurry trickles down his thighs. Karkat sits back heavily on the bed, leaning back and holding himself up with his elbows, legs kicked out and crossing over Eridan’s ankles. He laughs, breathlessly. “Fuck. Goddamn.”

“How’re you holdin’ up, Sol?” Eridan asks, aware of every additional squeeze of Sollux’s nook around his bulge. “Wanna make good on that plateau?”

Sollux chirrs and lifts his head enough to kiss him. He extracts his claws from the fabric of the sheets and runs his fingertips over Eridan’s ribcage, sending fine-tuned psionics playing over his gills. Eridan lowers his hands to Sollux’s hips and moves him much the way Karkat had; this time, however, Sollux has the wherewithal to direct psychic vibrations into his own bulges, from his sheath to their tips, and add the same attention to Eridan’s, until it’s stimulating his shameglobes and seedflap where Eridan’s girth and length had already brought him most of the way off. 

Eridan gasps for air along with him, both sets of gills flaring open with exertion, and Sollux can feel him thrashing and thick within his walls as Eridan’s calves tense for one final thrust. Violet slurry pools on Eridan’s bone sheath and beneath him on the bed, and Sollux intensifies the psionic pressure at his shameglobes until he’s shivering again, spilling out another, lesser wave of slurry that adds to the mess between them.

Desperate for air, Sollux rests his cheek on Eridan’s collarbone and goes limp. He’s warm and safe and satiated, and Eridan’s purring picks up to join his as his hands pet up and down Sollux’s back to hold him.

“Holy fuck, I just came so hard,” Sollux says, grinning against Eridan’s skin. 

“Twice, wasn’t it?” Eridan tucks Sollux’s head beneath his chin, at an angle that avoids his horns. “You’re on theme.”

Sollux nods without much energy. “Mmm, I don’t want to get up.”

“We’ve got nowhere to be but here,” Karkat notes. “You wanna do me a favor, O Slurry-Anointed Snack Emperor?”

“Yeah, no problem.” He nuzzles against Eridan’s chest. “What is it?”

“Since you can legit go hands free, and our hands are fucking filthy from all this filthy fucking, think you can do us all a solid and float the rest of the donut holes over here?”

Sollux and Eridan both laugh, and Sollux presses a kiss to Eridan’s throat, just beside his gills, where his purring is tangible beneath his lips. 

“Of course, KK.” Blue and red light elevates the box without Sollux even looking at it, and it lands on the bed relatively gracefully. “Anything for my esteemed Imperial Snack Subjects.”

“I think it’s safe to say all three of us are a fuckin’ snack.” Eridan gives Sollux another squeeze and sighs into his hair. “Certified fresh.”

Karkat opens his mouth and lets Sollux float a donut hole between his teeth. “If you’re invoking Decomposed Love-Apples,” he begins, while chewing, “I just need you to be prepared to talk movies with me all day long.”

“It’s a beautiful day, Kar.” Eridan adds an attempt at a melody to the second half, and is more or less on key. “So beautiful, in fact, that they call it _bella giornata_.”

“This threesome has been brought to you by processed junk food and palm kernel oil.” Sollux lifts his head to grin at Eridan. “And _vviewers_ like you!”

Eridan shakes his head and grins back before shoving Sollux off himself. “Get fucked, Captor.”

There’s another wave of slurry that’s unleashed from the two of them separating, and Sollux is already cracking up the instant Eridan dislodges him.

“Hey, Emperor of Snacks. Your new clothes really suit you.”

Sollux raises his hands and configures his fingers into a heart shape, and looks at Karkat through the frame they form. “Oh yeah?”

Karkat smirks. “Your wriggling suit. Best dressed you’ve ever been.”

Sollux sticks his tongue out at him and inverts his gesture, so that his forefingers and thumbs create a spade instead, still encircling Karkat’s face.

Eridan moves closer and snakes his arm around Sollux’s shoulders. “Kar, get back over here already, will you?”

“Yeah, all right.” He shoves the towel and its gathered supplies to the edge of the bed and settles in next to Sollux, draping his arm over his waist. Despite the gruff words, Karkat’s own purring joins theirs. “Sweet wiggler troll Jegus fucking forfend that I could ever be the one to bulgeblock anyone for post-pailing cuddles.”

“Next time you each get one of mine,” Sollux says. He lifts a hand up, as a fist. “Deal?”

Eridan and Karkat both fistbump him, and respond in unison. “Deal.”


End file.
